For many years, the holidays were the worst time of the year for me. You see, on Christmas Day in 1990, I learned my little brother had been diagnosed with AIDS. He died in June 1991.
This terrible memory hung over every Christmas and New Year’s for a long time. I had to learn how to adapt my mind frame. That does not mean forgetting, but rather detaching the sorrowful memories from the time of year.
My friend Ivan helped me do this. One day, I was complaining about how depressing the holidays are for me, and Ivan made a gentle suggestion.
“Why not get out of the house and try to help other people be happy?” he asked. Then Ivan recounted how he and his lover went out to the mall and walked around, enjoying the decorations, greeting stressed-out shoppers with a cheery “hello,” and, well, generally spreading cheer.
I did try it, and behold! I felt better. I got out of my own way and helped lift the spirits of others. What a great gift from Ivan: one that I’ll never forget.
Now, every Christmas season, I ask myself: What can I do to help others feel better, less stressed, and more happy? It’s been a wonderful year.